"The List"

Last Summer I rediscovered my joy of reading for pleasure. I literally had spent the last decade reading intentionally, I exclusively read with a goal in mind. For a girl who used to consume a 400 page novel in a day I think it speaks volumes about my life in general probably :/ I had become a little too task oriented! Anywhoo after having an a-ha moment I realized I could read for enjoyment again.

The lil unexpected blessing in reading all these leisure novels is that through them I have continued to learn & grow as well. I think in every imaginary character is obviously a real person who inspired the author. I want to share something profound I learned in one of these books last nite.

It may literally change your marriage, your friendships, your life! I have read A LOT of relationship books, & not one had something so simple, so enlightening & so significant recommended.

Here is your task:
1)Go get your paper =)
2)Got a pen or pencil yet?
3)Fold your paper in half
3)I want you to think about your spouse, the good, the bad , the ugly, be REAL!!!
4)Now list EVERYTHING he/she does to irritate you, upset you, makes you angry, fills you with resentment,even makes you cry..........when you think your done double check it, & make sure even the little things are there
5) Are you done?!?!

Oh my gosh !!!! Really you have to live that, endure that ,listen to that .......

Here is the next step --the most CRUCIAL

6)open your piece of paper
7) next to each frustration list how YOU respond!


Does you hubby come home from work irritable & gripey? How do you respond? Do you gripe back? Do you listen without offense? Do you offer a shoulder rub?

My husband is a nite owl & I am not! LOl, looking at my list I was a lil appalled when my reaction once ,OK maybe twice, was to lock him out of our room :o Um, yep, that may have caused some conflict , eek!

We need to open our eyes candidly & realize our loved ones, our spouses, our family members, our friends also have "the list". How do we want them to respond to us? Can we change some of our responses? Absolutely! Can some behaviours be changed, sure. What about the ones that can't be changed in them or us? Can we work out a solution that really works & doesn't instill resentment?

Ex: I have a son who cannot sit still at the dinner table. He has two options while eating, either use the chair & sit down or set aside the chair & stand, he can not lean on the chair with one knee which may result in injury. I imagine his wife will have to purchase a counter height table so that she can enjoy a meal sitting down & yet enjoy face to face conversation with him =)

I want my loved ones to respond with compassion, patience, understanding, and meeting me half way when I cannot be altered ;-) . I need to do the same !!!

The reality is our spouses, family & friends fill our lives with love, companionship, partenrship, wisdom, support and joy. Lets see how much more of the positive we can add to our daily lives by taking positive action & personal responsibility .